{"id":991,"date":"2013-08-15T11:51:03","date_gmt":"2013-08-15T18:51:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/?p=991"},"modified":"2016-04-07T06:37:25","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T13:37:25","slug":"the-compromise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/?p=991","title":{"rendered":"The Compromise"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Compromise,” is part 2 of my series titled The Male Perspective,\u00a0 a <\/em>monologue that I wrote long ago about the complex relationship between a guy and his girlfriend. Usually, we hear this type of subject matter from a female perspective, so I thought why not look at things from the male perspective for a change. What makes this monologue fun is that it’s written by me, so inadvertently it’s about how I perceive men in relationships. It’s split into small little chapters only a page long, usually, which makes for a quick, fun read. How does this connect with The Diary of a Wrinkle?<\/em> Well, it still involves women’s issues that we can easily relate to. <\/p>\n

THE MALE PERSPECTIVE<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Part 2<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Compromise\u201d<\/p>\n

I needed that rest; gotta rest up a bit before the next sleepless night.<\/p>\n

How do I know that I\u2019m going to have another sleepless night?<\/p>\n

What was I talking about last time? Oh yeah, the landscaping issue.<\/p>\n

You\u2019d think that she\u2019d be receptive to it, willing to give it a try,<\/p>\n

at least once.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s erotic, some might say kinky, and almost every woman I know does it.<\/p>\n

But no\u2014not her. She likes it natural! Huh? No, no, she does shave her<\/p>\n

legs. Come to think of it, she\u2019s a hypocrite. The armpits? I can\u2019t remember<\/p>\n

her pits. They\u2019re probably fine, otherwise I\u2019d remember.<\/p>\n

And this is what she had to say on the subject matter: she told me that<\/p>\n

animals emit certain scents in order to attract the other sex, and that<\/p>\n

humans do the same. Except that in our society, we stupidly obsess over<\/p>\n

these natural scents, and go out of our way to eliminate them.<\/p>\n

Hold on, I know that it\u2019s all common knowledge, but she continued to<\/p>\n

preach, telling me the reason that women have pubic hair is that it<\/p>\n

could absorb and trap the scent even better! For me that tidbit of<\/p>\n

information was a complete revelation. I told her that someone\u2019s been<\/p>\n

misleading her all these years, because where I come from it\u2019s not<\/p>\n

considered a scent\u2014it\u2019s noxious, and more like . . . well there’re plenty<\/p>\n

of adjectives to describe what it\u2019s like.<\/p>\n

She steamed with rage, definitely infuriated by my casual response.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou pervert,\u201d she said, \u201cd\u2019you want me to look like a five-year-old\u201d?<\/p>\n

I certainly didn\u2019t expect this sort of reaction, so I suggested a<\/p>\n

compromise instead. I asked whether she\u2019d agree to trim it a bit on<\/p>\n

top, and only shave the bottom.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd make a little Hitler?\u201d she screeched. \u201cThe little bit of hair<\/p>\n

above\u2014it looks just like Hitler\u2019s mustache,\u201d she attempted to explain<\/p>\n

her outburst. But I didn\u2019t see her point, I thought she was ridiculous.<\/p>\n

I admit that I have very specific grooming needs, but those didn\u2019t warrant<\/p>\n

a distorted interpretation of my request.<\/p>\n

She seethed with anger, her face turned red, and it took her a few<\/p>\n

seconds to compose herself and speak again\u2014actually yell. \u201cYou<\/p>\n

have the nerve to nickname my vagina after Hitler, when you\u2019ve<\/p>\n

always known that some of my relatives had actually perished<\/p>\n

in the Holocaust?\u201d<\/p>\n

It never ends\u2014the constant arguing and bickering over every single<\/p>\n

thing. And I\u2019m so tired. But no, it didn\u2019t end there either. She said<\/p>\n

that the only way she\u2019d consider a compromise was if I were to<\/p>\n

compromise as well. Naturally, I thought, wasn’t that<\/p>\n

the nature of a compromise in the first place? She’d give in to some of<\/p>\n

my needs, and I’d agree to some of her needs, but I had no<\/p>\n

clue of what she had in mind.<\/p>\n

You really want to know what she had in store for me?<\/p>\n

She said that she would trim, a little, nothing that would<\/p>\n

resemble Hitler, or any other dictator for that matter, only<\/p>\n

if I\u2019d shave my balls, regularly. I said no! And she explained<\/p>\n

that many men engage in body grooming\u2014that hairy men<\/p>\n

were not in vogue any longer\u2014that she too preferred the<\/p>\n

smoother look.<\/p>\n

I thought about it, after all she did have a point there.<\/p>\n

However, the squatting with a raiser pointed to my<\/p>\n

nether regions coupled with the delicate nature of<\/p>\n

that area, and possible injuries conjured up a very<\/p>\n

disturbing image in my mind. Not to mention the<\/p>\n

constant dedication to my groin, and not the kind<\/p>\n

of dedication I\u2019d be proud of.\u00a0 I decided against it<\/p>\n

and she didn\u2019t take my decision lightly. She couldn\u2019t<\/p>\n

understand my reasons for not doing it, and why my<\/p>\n

body should get preferential treatment, while she was<\/p>\n

subjected to constant demands.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat demands\u201d? I pondered, when in fact I was merely<\/p>\n

trying to suggest something that would benefit<\/p>\n

her mostly. She dragged this one out for a long time,<\/p>\n

and I completely lost interest in the entire topic of conversation.<\/p>\n

But thinking about it now, had she only heeded my advice,<\/p>\n

sure, I\u2019d be a happier man, but she too would\u2019ve looked<\/p>\n

so much better in a bathing suit, and felt more confident<\/p>\n

without that offensive bikini-puff between her legs,<\/p>\n

don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n

THE END<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Compromise,” is part 2 of my series titled The Male Perspective,\u00a0 a monologue that I wrote long ago about the complex relationship between a guy and his girlfriend. Usually, we hear this type of subject matter from a female perspective, so I thought why not look at things from the male perspective for a … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wrinkles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=991"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2100,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991\/revisions\/2100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofawrinkle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}