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Sweaty Wife

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Flawless Dreams When we think of growing older, there are a few expected scenarios such as wrinkles, grey hair, and drooping overweight body parts that inevitably cross every single person’s mind. Even when we don’t have a natural inclination to care about these types of changes, or there’s an initial ambivalence and health is a … Read more

Today I turned 50!

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The years you remember only through photos. Most of us don’t remember our very first birthdays, and even though our family may have marked those events with a significant birthday bash and the photos are a testament to the wonderful time we had catching bubbles, blowing candles, eating birthday cake, and opening gifts, we rely … Read more

Does a Fat Ass Make you Less Attractive to Men?

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Recently, I viewed photos of Jennifer Lopez performing at the iHeartRadio Fiesta Latina in Miami, Florida, and as usual, the public’s comments didn’t disappoint. Someone wrote that “she should retire her fat ass and legs from the stage already.” The quality of her voice and ability to command the stage, with her notorious dance moves, … Read more

Do You Choose Beautiful? Or Who the Hell Actually Cares?

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Hmmm, am I average or beautiful?

A few weeks ago I watched the very controversial “Choose Beautiful” video, which was the new installment of Dove’s original campaign called “Campaign for Real Beauty,” first launched in 2004 and meant to empower women and boost their self-esteem. The first campaign came about as a result of a study titled, “The Truth About Beauty,” which was conducted by Dove with the input of world-renowned academics. Their goal was to explore the notion of beauty in women today, and what they found was that a mere 4% of women from around the world considered themselves beautiful, and at least 75% of women would have preferred to see diversity in the images of beauty, which are broadcast daily through film and all other forms of media. So this, in fact, was the genesis of the campaign that began to introduce images of women who did not fit the bill of traditional beauty because they had gray hair or a flat chest etc., but nevertheless, for the first time they were given the platform that was usually reserved for “traditional” beauties.

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When You Smell Like a Fish

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From my Insult Card collection

Before I get a load of criticism for my eye-catching title, allow me to explain. First of all, it’s not such an original title when the likes of Shakespeare had used a similar metaphor in “The Tempest”:

“What have we here? A man or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell . . . a strange fish!”

Let’s be honest about this: everybody sweats and therefore unpleasant odors are a fact of life, and some of us smell more than others. I admit that smelly people have also been a good subject matter for my Insult Card line, but let’s keep our sense of humor in check here, and not become overly sensitive please. I don’t adhere to politically correct writing.

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Aging Sucks! Or Does It?

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My granny Gertrude was not afraid of death, in fact, the more she learned about the sciences, the more at peace she became with her own eventual demise.

It’s true, especially if you go up the street to one of the supermarkets located near one of our senior retirement communities and you can’t help but notice the frowning, bitter looking elderly people who  seem to bark out orders at the sales associates or anyone else crossing their path. They have no qualms about ordering people around or making the most ridiculous demands as though their age, or time on earth, has earned them the right to forget about simple rules of conduct in society. Manners don’t apply to them anymore and becoming self-absorbed defines them completely. Sadly, negative behavior always seems to draw our attention, and it’s what we remember most times, but it would be a lie to say that we have not noticed the same segment of society, namely the elderly, who actually smile—too much.

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Rinse Your Mouth with Pee for a Whiter Smile!

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From that wild period of time in the desert. My teeth look white and not because of urine, it’s rather all to do with polishing my teeth with coconut oil.

Who knew that once upon a time urine had such immense value that the Romans actually traded in urine! In last month’s Smithsonian news an article about the uses of urine was indeed an interesting eye opener. Of course, over the years I heard about the medicinal qualities of urine; I recall reading the novel Freedom at Midnight, where there was mention of Gandhi’s use of urine, and I also witnessed a friend of mine rubbing urine on a cut. She swore that it was a cure-all for things of that nature. Had I remembered basic chemistry, I would’ve taken her seriously, but there were other extraneous circumstances that sort of pushed that piece of information to the wayside.

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The Male Perspective

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Here’s one episode from a monologue that I wrote long ago titled The Male Perspective. It was one show out of many that I had created for Playfilm.net, my online production company together with my cinematographer friend Scott. It was probably one of the few online webseries pre-YouTube. The formatting would not transfer onto this page properly, so excuse the mess. This show was about the complex relationship between Greg and his girlfriend, but from a male perspective as the title so aptly suggests. What makes this monologue fun is that it’s written by me, so inadvertently it’s about how I perceive men in relationships. It’s split into short rant-type monologues, which makes for a quick, fun read. How does this connect with The Diary of a Wrinkle? Well, it still involves women’s issues that we can easily relate to.

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Hollywood Glamour Gone Sour

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Old Hollywood Blvd (photo credit, LA Public Library).

For those of us who know the truth—that Hollywood-type glamour only exists in the movies, the classics that is—the idea of glamorous Hollywood Boulevard still resonates in our minds because of our penchant for romanticizing about the past. Even so, a couple of weeks ago I decided to give Hollywood Boulevard yet another chance; it had been about eight years since the last time I visited there, and the memory of my disillusionment and disappointment when I realized that Hollywood Boulevard was nothing but an overrated, and overcrowded dump, had become a distant memory—enough for me to go there one more time.

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A Cookbook for the Woman Who Hates Cooking

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My sister posing for our book cover.

Not so recently, it’s been months and months and probably well over a year now, that my sister and I had embarked on this cookbook project together, and something that we both thought of as a great idea at first, and probably an easy one at best, had become one difficult project indeed. Probably the most difficult project that I had encountered for sure; even more difficult than Law School. And as for my sister, well, you have to read the book to understand what she had to go through. Some of my critics despise the idea that I have tailored this book for the “Woman Who Hates Cooking,” when there are plenty of men who share the same sentiment, and yet nobody really complains about their inability to perform in the kitchen. My intentions were never to alienate anyone when writing this book, I realize that just as many men hate to cook, and plenty of men share the burden of daily cooking for their families. I know all of this. But it’s a fact that most women are expected to cook for their  family, even when both men and women are equally busy with careers, and raising  a family;  it just so happens that it’s the woman who takes the reins most times. My sister is a prime example of this; she hates cooking, works just as hard as her husband, and yet still finds herself having to prepare practically every meal in the house. My husband  is no different, although he may divorce me after reading this—but I can be as sick as a dog—and when it comes to dinner time, he will still ask what’s for dinner?

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